Buying A Sandwich III
More time has passed and there seems to have been another complete replacement of the staff at the local sandwich shop. The staff used to be Hispanic. Now they appear to be from the Indian subcontinent. I suspect that the franchisee/owner, who is from India, was compelled to trim costs by firing his staff and replacing them with relatives. Further cost economies have been effected by recycling name tags worn by the previous staff members.
ACT - 1
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
(Whose old name tag says “Maria” but who has, somehow, mentioned that her last name is Singh. She has a charming, lilting, Indian accent.)
Hello, and Welcome to Subway!
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah… Umm… Gimme a sandwich… Umm… a foot long.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Of course. Which kind of Foot Long Sandwich would you prefer?
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah… Umm… Foot long… That’s Six Dollars, right.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Absolutely. Which kind of Foot Long Sandwich would you prefer?
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah… Umm… Wheat bread on one half… Umm… And white bread on the other half.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
What? I mean, pardon? You can’t have two different types of bread on one sandwich. You would then not be making a single Foot Long sandwich. That would instead be two separate, six inch sandwiches. I am sorry, but a Foot Long sandwich must be a single Foot Long sandwich.
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah… Umm… One sandwich? Umm… OK, make it white bread then. If it’s one sandwich… Umm… Can I still have different toppings… Umm… On the two halves.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Yes, absolutely, you can have different toppings on different halves, as long as it is the same sandwich.
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah… Umm… OK… On one half I want… Umm… Ham and cheese with mustard… Umm… And on the other half… Umm… I guess tuna with extra mayo.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Ah? Sorry, but once again you appear to be making two different sandwiches. Sadly a Foot Long sandwich can only be one sandwich.
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah? Well how would you do that?
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Well… It could be all Ham & Cheese, or all Tuna with mayo, but not a combination of both.
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah, but I want one Foot Long sandwich.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Then I encourage you to buy one.
Time passes and eventually a tuna fish sandwich on white bread is assembled. Then, at the last moment.
The Lady In Front Of Me In Line:
Yeah… Is that all the toppings?
Yeah… OK… Well add some pepperoni and done.
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
<winces>
Pepperoni is a meat. That will cost extra.
ACT - II
The lady leaves with her pepperoni-tuna sandwich.
Me:
Was she trying to trick you into making her two six inch sandwiches? Did she really think that was going to work?
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
<smiles>
Me:
Did she finish up by putting pepperoni on a tuna fish sandwich with extra mayo?
Maria Singh - Sandwich Specialist:
Yes. Yes she did. Sir, your would be appalled at the abysmal culinary selections made by some of the people who come in here. One day someone requested that I put fresh lettuce on a meatball marinara sandwich.
<pauses>
Honestly, if you’re going to come live in America the least you can do is learn how to make the national sandwich.