More time has passed and there seems to have been another complete replacement of the staff at the local sandwich shop. The staff used to be Hispanic. Now they appear to be from the Indian subcontinent. I suspect that the franchisee/owner, who is from India, was compelled to trim costs by […]

Took my aged mother and ‘the fluffy little white dust mop dog’ for a car ride today. There are, apparently, too many red cars out on the road in Los Angeles. This is, apparently, my fault.  Because I have, apparently, not done enough to prevent my fellow motorists from making this poor choice […]

For some time there have been no barber shops. Now everyone goes to exciting, unisex, Mac Donald’s style franchise, hair salons.
A programmer sits down for a haircut at ‘Freddie’s Happy Scissors’ (or some such name).
Stylist:
Hi! How are you? How’s your day going.
Programmer:
Fine. How about you?
Stylist:
Good.
Programmer:
Anything planned for this weekend?
Stylist:
Huh?
Programmer:
It’s Easter this […]

A programmer is drinking a diet coke. His aged mother looks up from her bowl of vanilla ice cream smothered in maple syrup.
Aged Mother:
You know, you look pretty good for your age.
Programmer:
Huh? Why thank you.
Aged Mother:
So how old are you now?
Programmer:
Umm, how old do you think?
Aged Mother:
I’d say you’re about 65.
Programmer:
(sputters) Umm, […]

Recently I began a bit of housekeeping on the blog; checking if anything should be deleted, trying to remember what stories had already been chronicled, that sort of thing. Oddly enough, the first point that jumped out at me had to do with dentistry. For a while there I was writing quite a bit about […]

Please refer to Episode I if this topic is new to the reader.
Well, today I received a second letter from the IRS. It came to me at my imaginary home address of 1234 Elm Street, Hollywood, USA. (For an explanation of the imaginary address again please see Episode I.)
This second, computer generated, letter […]

Or perhaps ‘Post Office of the Brain Dead,’ or ‘IRS of the Brain Dead.’ But read on and compose your own appropriate title.
My mailing address is not; 1234 Elm St. Hollywood USA 56789. It’s not, but let’s just pretend that it is.
Yesterday I received a letter from the Internal Revenue Service. The letter […]

Maybe this only bothers me because I’m a programmer. For programmers, “It’s either a 0 or a 1.” The lights are either on or off. Things are either right or wrong. Or perhaps it’s because I’m an only child. There are lots of editorials on the Internet that seem to blame people’s behavior on that […]

The phone rings, and a programmer answers.
Programmer:
Hello?
Voice on the phone:
Hala Misa Hailon Da?
Programmer::
I beg your pardon?
Voice on the phone:
Hailon. Hailon Da?
Programmer:
I’m sorry, but you’re slurring, or we have a bad connection, or I can’t understand your accent. What did you say?
Voice on the phone:
I said, is Mr. Allen there?
Programmer:
No. I’m sorry, but there’s […]

Time has passed, and it appears that the staff at my local Subway Sandwich shop is once again composed of completely new, enthusiastic, but inexperienced employees. Upon noticing this I surmised that I would thus be destined to repeat all of my previous sandwich adventures, with a new supporting cast. However, I was wrong. There […]